Purpose

Last year, I lost the job I held for over 20 years due to outsourcing and restructuring the company. I've been frustrated that I haven't been able to secure a position using my skills during my work life for the past 35 years. I didn't realize I had become prideful in a way. I didn't think I flaunted it publicly. Still, I was proud of my accomplishments, considering I don't have a college degree. I also realize I wrapped a lot of who I am in my position, not necessarily with work responsibilities but with the title. I thought I reached a level that made me comparable to others. I had a job I wasn't ashamed to say, "I'm a senior accountant at a nationwide company." Now, I don't even know my title isn't all that impressive, and it's not a well-known company. Anytime I attempt to describe my responsibilities, it sounds boring and not very specialized.

I've learned I based my self-worth and my purpose on excelling in school and work. I never actually have felt smart or intelligent. Still, I was proud of my grades in school and my work performance, as I have always seemed to excel in every job I've held until now. Unfortunately, any efforts to try and grow in my current position seemed to be blocked. No matter how many applications I submit or interviews I go to, they all end up in rejection.

I do believe God is opening my eyes for this season of my life. My view of success is not God's view of success. I came across a quote by Oswald Chambers. I am sharing it below. I am reading and re-reading this one as it is resonating through me more every time I do. I believe God has answered my prayer on what I am to learn through this last significant loss in my life. I have created a purpose or several purposes through the years that are not in line with God's purpose. I have learned it's time to accept God's purpose for me and let go of my definition of success.

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